My Mama Didn't Raise No Hooker

Do you see what's sitting next to the knitting needle? Yes, its a crochet hook. Wait! Before you all make a mad dash for the door, look at what its sitting next to...THE PEACOCK FEATHERS SHAWL! That's right, I'm doing the bind off on the shawl that just wouldn't quit. I said all along that I wouldn't do the crochet chain bind off that she used in the pattern, but by the time I made the last knit stitch (9:04 PM EDT last night), I just wanted it finished. I wanted my stitch markers back. I want to get this off the needles, blocked and DONE. I didn't want to swatch or put any more thought into it. So, I'm hoping that I don't get caught on the first thing I walk by, and I'm putting in the crochet loops as the pattern directs - well, sort of as the pattern directs. See, I don't crochet. The only reason I own crochet hooks is to pick up dropped knit stitches. I used to do the crochet chain for a provisional cast on - I've done it lots of times - I've done it right, one time. (I now do the chain over a knitting needle and it works every time.) So I'm supposed to gather up some knit stitches off of the knitting needle and then make a chain loopy thing thats 8 chains long or something. The problem is, sometimes I drop the loop in the chain of 8 and I have no idea how to count the little chain thingy, so I don't know if I have dropped one or not, so I just stick the hook back in and keep going wherever I left off. If this was knitting, I could look at it and figure out exactly what I had dropped and how to fix it. Dropped stitches don't scare me in knitting - I've been known to drop entire cable sections and redo them if I have one of the cable crossings wrong. Crochet? I'm like a blind man at a strip club - I could sit there all day and not know what I'm looking at. And lets not even get started on tension issues. Does crochet even have tension or gauge? No clue. Anyway, I hope to finish this tonight. Then I get to block it and see what on earth it looks like. Hopefully my mistakes won't be too huge and obvious.