Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, there was a Pink Lemon.  When the Pink Lemon was in college, she did a lot of sewing.  You see, the Pink Lemon was briefly an Interior Design major and one of the classes she had to take was a basic sewing class.  The Pink Lemon had been sewing and crafting all her life, but this basic sewing class really got her hooked on the sewing again.  One Christmas the Pink Lemon's Mother gifted her with a serger.  It was a lovely serger and could do many things.  Unfortunately, the serger was cursed by an evil something or other.  It would pretend to be serging properly and then start spitting thread out randomly, mid-seam.  It would be rethreaded, oiled, cleaned and talked to nicely by the Pink Lemon.  It would pretend to be behaving and then it would act up again.  It was very frustrating to the Pink Lemon.  She took the serger to several repairmen.  They cleaned it, checked the timing, checked all the innards of the serger and pronounced it a lovely serger.  The Pink Lemon would take it home and it would spit thread at her.  Sewing machine repairmen do not cure cursed sergers.  The Pink Lemon only used the serger when she had to.  She learned to do French Seams, Flat Felled Seams and Hong Kong Finishing in order to avoid the serger.  When she had to use the serger she made sure she had several hours to work with it and never ever tried to use it when she had a deadline.  Mostly, she quilted because quilting doesn't use sergers.  She got very good at avoiding the serger.  After years of dealing with the serger, she also knew (sort of) how to get it to work when she absolutely HAD to have something serged.  It always involved a great battle though between the Pink Lemon and cursed serger and it wasn't very fun for anyone involved.  The serger worked just enough to warrant keeping it.  It was a very frustrating time in the land.

Then one day, it happened:  the serger broke!  It broke right in the middle of a project that the Pink Lemon was trying to make.  Do you know what the Pink Lemon did?  Did she cry?  Did she throw herself on the ground, weeping at the injustice of it all?  Did she shake her fist at the sky and curse sergers everywhere?  No.  She did not.  She made sure the damn thing was dead and then she did a happy dance.  She did a happy dance with Maximus and she did a happy dance with Logan. She did a happy dance in front of Caleb and Mickael who told her to move because they were trying to play Call of Duty and she was blocking the TV.  They did not understand the depths of her happy dance.  She ignored them and continued dancing.  Then she took the serger, the cause of so much frustration and so many problems for years and years, and she chunked it into the garbage (because curses shouldn't be recycled).  That night she slept well, knowing that the serger would no longer thwart her creative ambitions.  There was peace in the sewing room.

But there was a problem.  Sergers, properly working, uncursed sergers are very useful in sewing and produce a professional seam finish with minimal bulk.  The Pink Lemon realized she needed a new serger.  She googled serger reviews.  She read sewing blogs.  She didn't want anything fancy, no 5 thread, jet air threading, computerized King of the Sergers kind of serger.  She just wanted a reliable, basic serger that didn't cost too much.  She found one.  She brought it home.  She talked to it nicely through the box.  Max welcomed it to the family by rubbing on the box and purring.  He gave the corner of the box a love nibble.  Logan welcomed it to the family by giving it kisses and lots of sniffs.  Mickael and Caleb said, "Great, now get it upstairs to the sewing room.  It doesn't go in the entryway." The Pink Lemon didn't want to rush this new serger relationship.  She didn't want to pressure the serger.  They were taking it nice and slow.  Eventually it did get upstairs to the sewing room, where it was slowly and lovingly unpacked.  The Pink Lemon played music for it (sergers like AC/DC).  The Pink Lemon read all of its directions.  The Pink Lemon and the serger were very happy together.  The Pink Lemon also signed up for a beginning serger class through Craftsy so she could learn all about the wonderful things the new serger does.  Since her first serger was cursed, the Pink Lemon never ventured beyond the Four Thread Overlock stitch.  Now the Pink Lemon dreams of rolled hems, ruffles and flatlocking!  She is only partway through Lesson 3 and she and her new serger are planning many years of sewing happily ever after.