Max's Day

 

Oh, I didn't see you there, I was checking on the birdies outside.  Mommy said I could tell you all about yesterday on the blog today!  She says she was tracing off a sewing pattern, I say whatever it was, it was AWESOME!  Best kitty afternoon ever.

There were pens (I like to use them as lightsabers), lots of papery things, and clear things!  I hate clear things.  Clear things are always trying to hide from me and be sneaky, but I see them and I give them the discipline for trying to be sneaky.  Also, I bite them.  Mommy says the clear things from yesterday were rulers.  I don't care what she calls them, they were bad and they needed the discipline and the biting.  The best part of the AWESOME afternoon wasn't the clear things though.  It was the papery things.  Mommy took the papery things (she called them pattern tissues and told me it's very delicate, whatever) to the sewing room (I love the sewing room, it makes me purr) and she did something to make them smooth (Mommy says the word is ironed).  I wasn't paying attention to what Mommy was doing.  I was trying to take the seam ripper to my secret treasure stash, but she made the papery things all smooth, and then she took the seam ripper away from me and said, "That's not yours."  Do you know how many times a day I hear that?  Silly human.  It's ALL mine!

Anyway, then she carried the papery things downstairs very carefully and Logan got fussed at because he tried to kiss them.  Apparently the papery things don't like dog spit.  I don't either - it makes my fur all spiky and then I have to take a bath.  Then the papery things were put on the table and I did what any self respecting cat would do - I made a cave in them.  Mommy sorted me out of the papery things, put me on the floor, and told me to stay down.

I didn't.

You would think that after the fifth time she pulled me out of the papery things, she would have just given up and left me to my cave, but she didn't, she just kept taking me out of them and putting me on the floor.  Then I noticed that she had some of the papery things on the kitchen island with the clear things and the pens.  (They always tell me not to get on the kitchen island either, but it's nice up there and the Logan doggy can't snarfle my nether regions when I'm up there.  I've found it's best to just ignore the humans when they make irrational demands.)  Anyway, when I saw what Mommy was doing on the island, I knew she needed my assistance, so I leapt to her aid.  If I'd have had a cape, that leap would have looked amazing!  Anyway, can you believe what she did?  She made a funny noise, dropped the lightsaber she was drawing with and scooped me up and dumped me on the floor!  Of all the rude human things!  I just don't understand these people.  I offer my expertise and help and this is the thanks I get!  So I jumped back on the table and made another cave in the other papery things.

Mommy says she did get everything traced off, in spite of my assistance.  (I think she means "thanks to my assistance."  Sometimes Mommy talks funny.)  I hope we can do that again soon.  Now that I know what she's trying to do, I can be even more helpful to her!  I've got to run now - it's time to fold laundry and you wouldn't believe what a mess she makes of it without me.